Look around at the world today. Does it seem to you that people have lost the ability to feel shame when they'd done something stupid? A cursory glance around forces me to conclude that yes, it's true . . . we've desensitized ourselves to feeling shame. By and large, people are willing to say more, do more, and publicize more than they ever have in the past. I am not necessarily opposed to this, as it certainly makes life all the more amusing for the rest of us. But I truly worry that by refusing to feel shamed by our thoughts and actions, we might in the end be losing more than a bit of our dignity.
Take, for example, the very talented Amy Winehouse. Her records: wonderful. Her success: undeniable. Her personal life: admittedly unbalanced. Her apparent nonchalance in the face of the irony that she's won a Grammy for a song about how she won't be sent to rehab, "oh, no no no", while, in fact, accepting the Grammy while on a day leave from, well, rehab: shameless. And we also have our inestimable commander and chief, who just cannot seem to work up any degree of shame over mounting evidence that he has screwed things up big time in Iraq. It's quite clear from the almost daily bombings, the disintegration of the Iraqi government, and the corruption in the US-installed police force, that things aren't going to well. Yet he blissfully struts around, proclaiming that "all the spending we're doing on the war is actually providing jobs," link
It does not shame him, it seems, that those "added jobs" have come with a price tag that kills American soldiers, undermines our national power and security, and has ravaged an entire country. I'm not arguing for any particular course of action ... I merely want to point out that it would be both appropriate and correct that he express some small morsel of shame for the way things have turned out.
And I won't even mention the media frenzy that surrounds the every move of Britney Spears. It's all too sad.
The best recent example, however, may be Hillary Clinton. I do not know from where that woman summons the gall to suggest that the ballots cast in the Florida and Michigan primaries should actually be counted, so as to give her a slight edge in the popular vote for the Democrat nomination. These were elections at which few people turned out to vote, knowing before hand that they would not count at the convention. These were elections for which little campaigning, little talking to voters, and no debating was done. These were elections everyone knew would. not. count. And these were elections (one of them, at least) in which her opponent was not on the ballot. And yet she claims a decisive victory, and she does so on national television, where millions of people can watch her do it. I know I would be ashamed . . . But in her willingness to do anything to win, it seems Clinton has forsaken quite a bit of her dignity.
So it worries me, this distancing ourselves from feeling shame. I strongly believe in and support freedom of speech, but the right to speak should not be coupled with freedom from shame when it's obvious that you've said something foolish. Rather, the prospect of shame is one of the great, natural methods of self-censorship. It is what makes freedom of speech so attractive, because we each know that we are inextricably tied to and responsible for the words that come out of our mouths. By claiming a right to free speech, we also claim the right to laugh at ourselves afterwards, and to have others laugh at us if the occasion warrants it. It's what raises the level of discourse -- people don't just say every little thing that pops into their heads. And it's what gives value to our dignity.
I say bring back the shame. It's a healthy part of the human life.
